Vintage Recipes – Page 5 – nachounderpants.com (2024)

This beautiful spread is from the 1952 “250 Ways to Prepare Poultry” cookbook. At first I didn’t recognize the roasted bird as a chicken, because I guess this is what a chicken looks like when it’s not shot up with hormones and antibitotics, and not fed with genetically altered super-corn. Kinda scrawny! But, it probably tastes a lot better because it’s the way nature intended — not scientists at ChickenCorp, Inc.

Anyway, the other barf-inducing dish is Chicken Salad – which should make you wince if you’ve ever gotten food poisoning from any sort of mayonnaise-infused cuisine. It’s looking a little gray to me, which is probably not a good sign for chicken salad. (Maybe it’s back to those chicken hormones.)

And, of course, nothing goes better with chicken or chicken salad that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches — right?

I guess it’s officially the holiday season (Well, Walgreens put out their holiday decorations the day after Halloween, but I digress…) so I thought I’d post a nice holiday meal for you all out there – the lovely Venison Log Pot Roast. It’s the perfect meal for those of you with pica!

I’d like mine well done, please – with a side of sawdust.

In honor of Thanksgiving this week, may I suggest something new and different? How about the beautiful Glazed Ham Loaf in Ring. With hot tea and succotash, what could be more festive?

First, take cooked canned ham and chop finely. Then, add spices, egg, pimento, green pepper, pineapple chunks and bread crumbs. Mix well and press into a 10″ ring pan. Then, bake at…

Oh hell, why not just open a can of Spam and dump it on a plate for God’s sake… it’s the same thing!

Okay, besides the fact that this looks like something from the Lorena Bobbitt Cookbook, it doesn’t sound that bad. I like macaroni. I like hot dogs. I like cheese. I like onions. I like cauliflower.

But… then I read the recipe, and the first ingredient is:
One Can of Macaroni and Cheese.
Hmmmm…. WTF is a can of Macaroni and Cheese?

Another fine example of Midwest Cooking thanks to my friends at McCalls.

“Good Morning! Here is your breakfast!”
“What the Hell is it?”
“Why, it’s Ham and Banana Hollandaise of course!”
“Ham? Bananas? Hollandaise? Have you lost your f*cking mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone knows you have Ham and Banana Hollandaise for lunch!”

Courtesy of 500 Tasty Snacks for Entertaining, circa 1952

This must be “fancy” since it’s supposed to be for “Sundays at Home” – mmmmm Chicken Livers ‘n Eggs! I don’t know why, but I don’t like mixing different chicken parts together with eggs. It just seems disconcerting to me for some reason. Kind of like there is a reason you never really see a chicken omelette on the menu.

I’m not sure these ingredients go together. Chicken, clams and corn? Were they really just lazy and picked three random things that start with the letter ‘C’ and threw them in a pie? Where’s the Apple, Asparagus and Anchovy Pie recipe?

Ugh.

Okay, this is the last salad mold I’ll post, I promise. I just couldn’t resist this one because, well, like the name says – – it’s just perfection. This wonderful concoction is gelatin, apple juice, lemon juice, vinegar, carrot, celery, cabbage, green pepper and pimiento.

That doesn’t sound as nasty as some of the other molds on my list, but my favorite thing about this recipe is that it was filed under “The Midwest” in my Mcall’s 1974 Recipe Card Collection. You know, nothing says Midwestern like a beautiful Easter Hat of Gelatin.

Yes, I am obsessed with the molds. I don’t know why – maybe because they are so completely bizzare and disgusting. Or, perhaps it’s because back in the day they seemed to be so enamored with gelatin – they would put anything in it. Meat, fish, fruit, nuts, vegetables – nothing is off-limits with the crazy gelatin mold!

I found these two under the “Low Calorie Dishes” section in my giant McCalls Recipe Card collection from 1974. I thought maybe they could go together as a delicious gelatin-themed meal! The Molded Shrimp Salad has unflavored gelatin, skim milk, mayonnaise (of course), chili sauce, lemon juice, green onion, tarragon, shrimp, celery and lettuce. It’s kind of like a milky Bloody Mary suspended in a pink quivering mass.

The Pineapple Orange Dessert Mold is fairly straightforward with OJ, flavored jello, pineapple and orange chunks and egg whites. Wait – egg whites? Hmmmm…. that must give it that extra firm consistency.

Actually, after reading the ingredients, I don’t think it so much “low calorie” as I wouldn’t eat much of it, so therefore the calories I consume would be low.